Dear readers,

I know some readers are asking me what is happening in my life and what happened. I was hospitalised in NUH. If you follow my blog long enough you may have an idea why -- I am constantly struggling with my own inner demons within and sometimes I am afraid of how people would think that I have issues but I am getting better right now. Sometimes it is tiring to pretend that you are okay when you are not. I am now fine and a happier person with the help of medication.

When I started this blog, it was meant to be a diary of a sort. I never thought people would read since sometimes the things I write seems to be moody as well due to my stage of mind then.

Later, I have a bit of awards online and Renaissance Publishing approached me about project blook. There was a bit of pressure on my part to gain more readers, to write more "mainstream" stuff but I did not. In fact, I did not write for the longest time in my blook (its another blog address). I also used to have this page view counter on my blog to track my page views but now I have removed it. This is because I think sitemeter give a more accurate figure to adverters and I do not want to constantly see how many readers a day and such and even sub consciously write things that maybe more "mainstream" and lost myself. I think its a conflicting thought -- sometimes I am happy when someone I do not know drop me a note and care about a stranger's life online.

However, I have to admit that my profile photo was photo shopped by Angela, my website designer. Sometimes I had also even borrowed ideas from other blogs to write as well since I like to read what others are writing. I am also a bit vain but I am just like you and I only put photos that look okay online. You probably would not wish to have a profile photo like when you dig your nose and show to the world wide web right?

For now I think I need to rest more and we will talk soon.

Warmest Regards,
Becky Cheung


I know its been a while since I last blogged. To sum it up, I am not well and there is this misunderstanding gone bad. My intention was never want to harm anyone but in anger, I think I had typed otherwise in smses.

There are some changes. I lost my phone and cannot contact most of my friends. Then I maybe heading to HK to help my dad or something. I am not sure what future holds though I am used to Singapore now. I got a lot of hundreds of emails and some comments to clear. For comment wise, I have accidentally deleted some of them.



Do give me some time or something. I am feeling a bit confused really.


Lately, I was feeling what I called "emotionally constipated". I think there was a grave misunderstanding with someone and I had offended that person unknowingly.

At first, I wanted to talk it out with that person privately to make things okay again but was told not to because it would not be professional or something. Besides, I was not too sure how should I begin the conversation as well and so I tried to seek advice from someone else.

However, it looked like it had only gotten worse. I also heard not too positive stuff about that person I had offended and so I was not too sure if I should be frank and make peace with that person or should I just keep a distance. I hoped that things were simpler and less complicated like for instance, when we were kids but for now I felt stuck and felt like an idiot in a sticky situation.


Once hailed poets were like little gods of society,
built on pedestals of bronzes with praises.
Now, a few hundred years later, poets are seen as
moody idle under-achievers, who can't even commit
long enough to write something of little worth.

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I am not sure how this unparalleled change occurred.

Labels: Reflections and thoughts, Writings and poetry

I was looking at some of the OMY.sg content such as Cling online and I thought it was pretty educational to understand the Chinese culture a little more. Somehow I felt inspired to share some of favorite Chinese poems with my readers by Li Bai today.

Li Bai (Chinese: 李白) (701 – 762) was a Chinese poet. Ever since I was a kid, I got to read up about him in the textbooks when I was back in Hong Kong. He was apparently unconventional, known for his extravagant imagination and his great love for liquor. I like the way he wrote about the moon when he was a little drunk. However, it was said that he had drowned himself in the end as he had fallen from his boat while drunkenly trying to embrace the reflection of the moon.

Here are some of his work:

月下獨酌。 Drinking Alone By The Moonlight

花間一壺酒。 A cup of wine, under the flowering trees;
獨酌無相親。 I drink alone, for no friend is near.
舉杯邀明月。 Raising my cup I beckon the bright moon,
對影成三人。 For her, with my shadow, will make three people.

月既不解飲。 The moon, alas, is no drinker of wine;
影徒隨我身。 Listless, my shadow creeps about at my side.
暫伴月將影。 Yet with the moon as friend and the shadow as slave
行樂須及春。 I must make merry before the Spring is spent.

我歌月徘徊。 To the songs I sing the moon flickers her beams;
我舞影零亂。 In the dance I weave my shadow tangles and breaks.
醒時同交歡。 While we were sober, three shared the fun;
醉後各分散。 Now we are drunk, each goes their way.
永結無情遊。 May we long share our eternal friendship,
相期邈雲漢。 And meet at last on the Cloudy River of the sky.

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山中問答。 Green Mountain

問余何意棲碧山。 You ask me why I dwell in the green mountain;
笑而不答心自閑。 I smile and make no reply for my heart is free of care.
桃花流水杳然去。 As the peach-blossom flows down stream and is gone,
別有天地非人間。 I have a world apart that is not among men.

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敬亭獨坐。 Alone Looking At The Mountain

眾鳥高飛盡。 All the birds have flown up and gone;
孤雲去獨閒。 A lonely cloud floats leisurely by.
相看兩不厭。 We never tire of looking at each other -
唯有敬亭山。 Only the mountain and I.

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For more details you can go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Bai

For other poems by Li Bai:
http://www.chinese-poems.com/lbe.html

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I know it has been a while since I last blogged. I was enjoying my long weekend away and was feeling kind of strangely nationalistic with Singapore 44th Birthday.

Labels: Chinese Culture, Omy.sg, Writings and poetry

An OMY.sg event: The Next Big Blog Gathering:

I went to OMY.sg's bloggers' gathering on Monday in the Museum and had a great time with the rest of the Y bloggers too. I won myself some cool prizes and a Museum pass for the lucky draw during The Next Big Blog Gathering. Actually I was kind of surprised that I was the most popular ( top-voted blogger ) in this little blogging contest organized by OMY.sg. It was a fun experience and I got to learn new media tools such as podcast and many more.

Here are some photos taken that day by OMY.sg and fellow bloggers in this contest:


( With the rest of the top bloggers in the contest )


(The Next Big Blog Gathering By OMY.sg)


1. With Danny Yeo, one of the judges for this contest.
2. Group photo with the rest of the top bloggers in this contest.


(Hehe)


(Group photo with some other bloggers )


(Pack attendance at the event)

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Lastly, thank you for all the support!
Look, what you have done:




I hope my readers are lucky enough to win cool prizes too and I maybe giving away some dinning voucher and prizes, too. So stay tune to this blog for update.

Lastly I would like the wonderful team from SPH and OMY.sg to make this possible for all of us. Thank you.

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由omy主办"部落星人王"大会于8月10日（星期一）在国家博物馆举行，除了颁发了两项青年部落格大奖，也送出了个别的 人气王奖项，现场年轻的部落格主人济济一堂，热闹非凡！颁奖人与评判之一的剧场工作者杨君伟受访时说，"The Next Big Blog"这活动名称取得很好。他希望这群年轻bloggers更努力，不要单单当个有潜能的blogger，而是做一名可以真正以部落格文章影响他人的 作者，让自己的部落格成为"the big blog"。

摄影： 叶振忠 （联合晚报）
摄像：陈明财
剪辑：罗文彪

For more details go to:
http://yzone.omy.sg/index.php?articleID=15010&&option=com_article&task=detail&type=

Labels: Omy.sg

I had a dream that I was back in Hong Kong. I guess I do miss my hometown a little. I miss the things my family and I used to do, my grandma and our plants in Hong Kong, the school even and all of the activities and competitions I used to take part in and the weekly and weekend routine.

But it is not something that I can visit. The place has changed, I am not back in school and the majority of the relatives/friends do not live there anymore. My grandma had passed away. Those photo albums that seem to just be photographs are not really able to have my life and memories fully contained in it as I can remember it too well and it seems like it was not too long ago, until I reflect about everything......

Sometimes a day or even an hour seems to drag by. Weeks ( especially weekend ) on the other hand, seem relatively short. A month can take a while, and a year seems like a vast amount of time when it lays ahead but not so vast when it is behind.

( And it is only 4.2 light-years to the nearest star. )

Labels: Nostalgia, The concept of time