Without pain, I would be nothing yet it seems to be both friend and foe. I think I appreciate pain and at times like it because it is better than the nothingness you become. Pain always comes with purpose. I realized it is when I feel much pain, I fought on, I press on, I grew, I wrote beautiful.

It had only makes me grow stronger and appreciate life.

I believe at times I do feel emotions more strongly than many people ( for example, when I am sad at times I do feel it engulfing me ) yet somehow I tell myself to be numb at times.

I used to think my " suffering " ( any emotional pain at all ) was not really suffering -- I mean there are something much worse that other people must experience ( eg. extreme poverty, abuse and so on ). I used to think what I felt could never be what they must have experienced since I am fully aware that there are people starving in Africa, and the dire situation of some children in China and India.

Although my sufferings or pain may not compare to those and others, I think all of us feel pain or need to go through some shitty phrases of life where there we like it or not as a human.

There was a period of time that was pretty shitty for me so bad that I had to stop school for a while and I had to talk to therapists with strange questions to me. I am not proud of it but I think I should not be ashamed to admit that either.

However, I want to prove to them, to you, that I can (and had ) overcome this. And that you can too in your own situations. We all know what it is like to break down and you are never alone. And so this goes out to everyone who reads this in a world that threaten to kill or destroy all of us at times -- fight the fight of faith.

Labels: Reflections and thoughts

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